just tell him i said nine months
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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