Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
