I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think my moral compass just broke
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