I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
