And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
