oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
