you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
