apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
