I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Randomize
