that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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