Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
