; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
