Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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