I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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