if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
