ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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