i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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