i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
