He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
