My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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