yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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