She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
