Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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