Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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