They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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