Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
