D3 body, D1 cock
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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