As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
