after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
