i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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