First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
