im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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