Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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