Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can I color on your dick again?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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