can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
