I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
