I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
