At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
