I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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