All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
