Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
