i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize