i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
