Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
