That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
