You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
