my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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