I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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