i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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