Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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