How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
